Friday, February 19, 2010

Dealing with the Truth

It was difficult to know that your child has an illness, what more a lifelong disorder that they say has no cure. It was devastating. What is more difficult for us is not knowing what caused it. They say it can be genetics, but even that is not proven yet. It can be caused by some vaccines, they say that a baby's body can't tolerate such a big amount of chemicals, thus, causing the brain to develop slower. It can also be caused by too much TV exposure. No one can tell. It's doubly hard for us parents since we don't know if it's because of something we did or didn't do. Was it because of the few alcoholic drinks that I had when I wasn't aware of my pregnancy yet? Didn't I take enough pre-natal vitamins when I was pregnant? Was it because we bought her lots of educational videos thinking that it will make her smarter? What we felt was a combination of guilt, anger and fear. Surprisingly, when I heard the diagnosis straight from our doctor, I didn't cry. I was fired up to know everything I need to know, what to do to help, where to start, and find the cure. I remember crying just once, when I told my mom about it, because I know she understands how I feel. I know I need to be strong for my husband, for the entire family and especially for Patricia. I wasted no time. I'm thankful to God for giving me strength during that time. I could've stayed inside my room and cried all day, but He didn't allow me to do that. I was on my feet right away. Praise God. My family and my husband's family also helped us a lot during this dark time. All the grandparents was in denial at first, saying that there's nothing wrong with their granddaughter. She's just delayed like most of her cousins, but they accepted it eventually. Now all of us is in a quest to find the best therapy and cure for our little princess. And we know it will come. In God's perfect time, we know it will happen.

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