Sunday, May 11, 2014

Being a Mom: I Thought I Knew It All

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! This is one day I always look forward to every year, not only because of the annual pampering my husband never fails to give me but the chance to give thanks and honor to all the wonderful moms in our lives. Now I know they truly deserve all these attention and love!

When I got pregnant, I thought I was so ready. I'm the type of person who lists all things, organizes everything, learns what needs to be learned and reads all the self-help books. I was 30 years old at that time, took care of so many babies, my nephews and nieces, and they love me to death (I know coz they never fail to tell me..) I was ready for the pain, breastfeeding, late nights (or no-sleep-at all-nights!), multitasking and all. I had a pregnancy journal, monitored my pre-natal meds, milk, vaccines and checkups! When Patricia was born, (after a very long 41 weeks) I was prepared to take on the challenges! My pedia was so surprised when I showed her my own chart, her feeding times (I breastfed exclusively for 1 year), her poopoo time (with description of color and consistency), her sleep time, and when she started eating solids, I have a list of what she ate everyday (her dad has lots of allergies, just watching out for possible triggers) I was like that, then add a mom who has wisdom and patience like no other, and a mother-in-law who's an expert with babies and breastfeeding, how can I go wrong?!

Then, she was diagnosed with AUTISM!

I didn't know what hit me! I wasn't prepared for this! I didn't have any idea what this was! I didn't know where to start! The doctor said she might not be able to speak for the rest of her life, might be very dependent on us, might not tolerate many things and situations, and more. We weren't prepared for the tantrums, stims, self-hitting and strange stares from people that we needed to face. Not to mention the expenses too! We needed to use all the money we were saving up for her schooling and spend it on her therapies and all at the age of 2! How can a parent be ever ready for this! She is perfect! She is a happy baby. She looks like an angel. She IS an angel! And this what made motherhood extra special for me.

I knew I'll be a hands-on mom and luckily, I also have a loving husband who's very hands-on too. I knew I will be a mom who tutors her, prepares her food and clothes, etc. What I didn't know was that God has even a bigger and better plan for me. I will not only be her mother, but her teacher, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, nurse, yaya, hairstylist, labandera, and more! I will be her biggest fan and advocate! I will be everything she'll want me to be, her mascot, her clown, her playmate, her friend! I will be what a mother would be... a person with so much unconditional love to give.

I'll never complain and I'll never get tired! Motherhood is definitely the toughest and most rewarding job ever! I wouldn't trade this to any CEO positions out there! Thanks Patricia for the wonderful experiences you've gifted me. Thanks Robert for the love and support with whatever motherly decisions I make. Thanks Mommy Zeng and Mama Grace for all the parenting wisdom and skills you've given me. I'm a blessed mom! Happy Mother's Day!